Who is the most important person in your life? Is it a family member? Maybe the most important person to you is a significant other or even a friend? If your answer is anything but yourself, then you are sacrificing your own wellbeing. Yes, it is ok to have very important people in your life but your needs should take precedent over anyone else’s.
I understand that this may seem like a selfish approach. Consider yourself in a pressing situation. You are always on the go, rushing from one place to another to get things done for others. One can only consider others for so long until you wear yourself thin. You become bitter to those whom you have been catering to. You blame them for your weariness. Unfortunately the only one to blame here is you.
It is better to say no and have someone temporarily upset than to continuously put yourself out. Humans are creatures of habit. If you allow someone to continue to use you for something then they will expect you to continue doing this. The key word here is continue. By all means it is perfectly fine to do favors for the ones we care for, just don’t let these favors become your permanent responsibility unwillingly. Yes, the person might be temporarily sore about the fact you turned them down but they will get over it in time.
In doing this, you are not only empowering yourself, you are also developing the independence of the other person. They now know that they cannot always hand off this particular responsibility to you and now must find a new way to complete their task. You may offer a suggestion to show that you do care about their responsibility and see that they are in a compromising situation. This will lighten the blow of your “no”.
All in all, make sure you are allowing yourself to live for yourself not for all around you.
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